Darling, we haven’t talked in a while. There’s a reason for that: I haven’t been on the treadmill in a while. I have been working like a psychopath and after having got the menengitis vaccine (people my age are dying from it here and I always remember what you told me: some people wanna die young and gloriously but taxi cab driver, hey that ain’t me”) I have been sick and draging my feet just to get through the days. Well I woke up this morning with a melody in my head and honey it was a song from the past but it wasn’t one of yours. It was some day, someway by Marshall Crenshaw. I looked him up on youtube this morning and it’s one of those days you have to keep playing a song LOUDLY and REPEATEDLY.
I have been having a hard time in the last few months, as you know. We’re going to therapy, it’s winter, etc. I just hate the world sometimes and I couldn’t stop crying at confession last sunday. The priest was worried about me. I was going all “genisis” but for the sake of 10 I will not destroy the city….no there is not one good, no not one. I talked with Guido on the phone yesterday who always tells me “we are happy” and another friend who wants to remain nameless whose wife is fighting cancer and doesn’t want anyone to know about it. He talked to me at great length about the great humanity he’s seen in the peoople he’s met in the last few months connected to her treatment. This forced me to be a bit more positive. Then I heard that Buddy Holly chorous and those first lines, “I can’t stand to see you sad, I can’t bare to hear you cry…” and it was 1982 all over again. Poor, geeky Marshall Crenshaw that looks just like the kid I married in high school who broke my heart. Thanks buddy, I needed that. I have my rollers in and I ordered 2 new dresses. I’ll do my hair on friday and I’ll get back on the treadmill as soon as I can start breathing without 6 pills again. Shoot Bruce, does this get any easier?