What am I doing?

Went to therapy yesterday. We got there a half an hour late and I was angry. I was angry the whole way home. Then I went for a 4km walk and felt better. We went out to dinner last night and spent 90 euro and had to put it on a credit card (prepaid) but you know what my philosophy on that is honey, sometimes when you need it the most is just when you don’t have it. This morning I did a mud wrap, 45 minutes (508 calories) on the treadmill and I just got out of the shower. So, I’ve paid my dues today.  But mine is more of a mental confusion. I was listening to my other boyfriend, Frank Sinatra on the headphones and I thought, I must have a thing for people with mental problems. Because I’d be his girl in a heart beat. And I know he was manic depressive. You said your wife sang for him? You must be the proudest guy in the world. I just listened to a blast from the past “list of Demands” and wanted to tell you: I’ve got a list of demands written on the palm of my hand, I’m gonna open my palm and you’re gonna see where I stand.

I feel like that.

Now, I’m listening to yet another male conspirator from my home town, Joe Williams. He’s singing “the same old thing”. joe williams concert What a guy. Bruce…What am I doing? In my life, what’s going on here? I feel like I’m in a concert and I don’t know what the music is and who’s supposed to be singing. It’s a constant battle. I’m going to leave you with a song today sweetheart. It’s Joe Williams singing from the concert I linked for you about minute 12. George Benson wrote it. Everything must change.

Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same

The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that’s the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummingbirds do fly

Winter turns to spring
A wounded heart will heal
But never much too soon
Yes everything must change

The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that’s the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And butterflies do fly

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And music
And music
Makes me cry

 

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