December

Hi honey.

I am a mess. I was so upset yesterday I could see blood, my own. I scratched myself with a knife just to see if it was sharp but did not press the issue because on my child. After about 4 hours I calmed down. I could hear James Stewart in the bar whispering to God that he wasn’t a praying man and watched a clip on tv and decided that my money problems, like his, weren’t worth killing myself over. But GOOD LORD, how much more can they ask of me? I work 6 days a week, I’m on antidepressants and I never ever have sex with my husband who is on a slew of other medicines, but does love me. I’ve got someone else throwing a lot of hot air my way and some days I look left and look right and I ask myself who I am and what is going to happen next. I haven’t made time to get on the tread mill but I will darling, I will. Tomorrow is a holiday here in Italy, l’assunzione. Do you think he will lead me not into temptation? Bruce my mom is in the hospital. I can’t send christmas gifts this year. Simone is ocd. and every time I see a certain car drive by I look to see who is driving it.

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