It’s been a long December

Dear Bruce,

No use telling you December was a hard month. So have January, February, March and April. I’d say 2016 and 2017 have not been good to us. As such, I’ve stopped writing and have resorted to more unhealthy remedies of coping with my life like drinking too much and cutting myself. And a lot of therapy. I got to my “I can not live like this anymore period” and it takes a while to even pull your head out enough to start thinking about being healthy. I’m gonna lay a shocker on you now, being that we’re both Catholics. Saturday before Easter 7pm I go to confession and I told the priest that another man was courting me and I didn’t betray my husband but after a while it started to feel good. I told him most of what had happened to me in these months which I haven’t told you about Darling because it’s too much. You know what he said to me? Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel. I almost died. When a priest tells you it’s time to throw in the towel I really don’t know what else there is to do.

Lots of phone calls to my brother trying to get me on a plane home. But you know what I started with? I got back on the tread mill. I turned back on the music and I started walking uphill again. Today I did 45 minutes for 582 calories. When my son Francesco asked me to stop, I did. I’ve had my shower and two big glasses of water. I’ve booked my tickets to go home in the summer time and Francesco and I will be going from the east coast to Chicago on an Amtrak train overnight! What an adventure for a 6 year old. I’m buying a copy of the box car children who also go cross country leaving from Boston on a train and think it’ll be a good memory for us. Some card, some special time.

So, Bruce Springsteen, I don’t know how many times one has to get back in the saddle again in one’s life, but I’m giving it the best fighting Irish I’m not going down like this ‘ole college try I can.

Bob Dylan Stuck in Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again…”here I sit so patiently trying to figure out what price you have to pay to get out of doing all these things twice”.



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